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Guess the Plot
The Black Circle
Vallinore, a scholar dispatched to renegotiate a truce with a metropolis dominated by a brutal king, [A city with a king? Wait, is this based on that TV show, The King of Queens?] was all the time marginalized on account of her standing because the emperor’s bastard. Fed up, she plans to desert her duties post-mission and defect.
Rideroc, town’s Lord Commander, is hell-bent on liberating his individuals from the king’s tyranny. He ropes in Vallinore’s distinctive experience in historic languages to trace down the one artefact able to toppling the king, going as far as to threaten struggle on her nation if she refuses to assist. [Either you translate these cuneiform passages, or my city will attack your nation.] [The king rules a city, Vallinore hails from a nation, Vallinore’s father is an emperor, presumably of an empire?
And the Lord Commander of the city is threatening war?]
Vallinore doesn’t plan for [figure on] Rideroc’s gravitational pull. As they peel again layers of pretence and forge a deeper bond, a stunning prophecy emerges, thrusting Vallinore at [into] the centre of an historic lineage and making her the goal of the king’s plot to breed a military of magic-infused shapeshifters. [Whoa, just when I was thinking Roman Empire, it’s become Galactic Empire.] [Though I must admit that was one of the most amazing sentences in query history.]
Rideroc and Vallinore should select whether or not to flee and defending Vallinore from the King’s relentless pursuit, or danger all the pieces in a daring try and liberate town.
THE BLACK CIRCLE is a twin POV Adult Romantic Fantasy full at 118,000 phrases with sequence potential. It combines Jennifer L. Armentrout’s FALL OF RUIN AND WRATH’s exploitative relationship between the protagonists and people in authority with Rebecca Yarros’s THE FOURTH WING’s enemies-to-lovers dynamic.
Thank you in your time and consideration,
Notes
Not clear to me why this scholar who has studied historic languages is the goal of a plot to create a military of shapeshifters. Is "goal of" the suitable phrase? Maybe "key to"? What does the stunning prophecy predict, precisely? That a girl will arrive within the metropolis and translate some Sanskrit glyph directions on the right way to create 1000’s of magical shapeshifters?
Lord Commander Rideroc appears like the right identify in your villain. Your hero must be the king’s son, Prince Lenny.
Also, Rideroc sounds quite a bit like Roderick.
Vallinore plans to defect . . . to the place? The brutal king’s metropolis?
You name this a romantic fantasy, however there’s little about romance right here, only a imprecise point out of forging a bond and a gravitational pull (that Vallinore in some way feels proper after Rideroc threatens struggle along with her nation).
Rideroc: Do as I ask, or my military will invade your nation.
Vallinore: Are you seeing anybody?
If you will get the romance angle in earlier it will assist:
Dispatched to barter a truce with a metropolis dominated by a brutal king, Vallinore meets with town’s good-looking Lord Commander, Rideroc, who’s hell-bent on liberating his individuals from the king’s tyranny. Rideroc makes a nasty first impression, threatening struggle on Vallinore’s nation until she helps him topple the king. But although Rideroc looks as if an actual a-hole, Vallinore can not help discovering him lovable, type of like Hugh Grant.
Wait, change that final line with: But although Vallinore finds Rideroc missing in social graces, she will be able to’t assist admiring his ardour for serving to his people–not to say his ripped 6’3" body. No, not fairly that, however we’re getting nearer.
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